Overeating
Stuffing emotions
Classic case.
What am I avoiding?
The “I don’t know
what to do now?”
Packing up his clothes
Some say it is too fast
Are there rules to grieving?
Are there rules to what
a loving spouse does
or doesn’t do? How fast?
Not ready for crowds
Not ready to start
anything new, so
evenings are way too open.
Maybe that’s what the
food is trying to fill.
If everything of his was gone,
he’d still be here, curled
in a warm spot in my heart.
Remembering this I will make
a list….my list, taking it
just one day at a time.
I realized I’ve succumbed to my old need of “having to get it right.” There’s no right… I will learn this someday. LOL!
As yes, the food denial. I’ve done the same, Barb, though I know we can’t compare grief, which is lived differently for each of us. I grieve now for you, dear Barbara, and also feel joy because of your devotion to mindfulness. XOXO, Mary
Yes, Barb. You are “getting it right” right now. Hugs.
So well-expressed. (Was it easier when there were all those culturally-dictated customs of grieving? Kinda doubt it….) That said, there does seem to be such a thing as ‘good grief.’ This puts me in mind of the family that I came to know via Children’s Home of Cincinnati; the father’s sudden death was a horrible shock, but in the 10 years since that loss, the mother had not ‘progressed’ at all. If she took up the reins and moved on, in her mind it meant she hadn’t loved her husband or mourned him properly. The older children, infuriated, left the home as soon as they could; the younger ones struggled. (One, having discovered drugs, wound up in residential treatment.) It was instructive, I guess…. (I don’t even know if ‘grief counseling’ was even a thing back then–mid 70’s.)
I do know that I completely trust your ability to work your way through all of this, and in your own way. There’s no rush, no need to force yourself….thanks be.
Love you!
I love your writing Barb. You open up your heart to us and that is a form of connection. I hope that you continue to write and publish your gems for others to benefit from.
You are on the “Hero’s Journey” and will be putting to use every single skill you possess to care for your own heart and mind combined. Take your own advice, keep your eyes on the prize, which is you knowing your own Being and being that in each choice you make. There is nowhere you can go that Joseph does not go with you. Be true to you and let it out. Remember one of Joseph’s main principles: It really is none of your business what other people say or believe about you. Also, this situation really is like it is and it is OK. Joseph is OK. Barbara Sliter is OK. You do not need to do anything to fix the situation. YOur heart knows what you need. If it is food, eat. If it is time and open space, fill it. If it is sorting and throwing out, sort and throw out. The “real” will go unchanged by anything you do or do not do. Keep sending him light and love on his journey. Be present and do what makes sense. There is no right thing, no good, no bad. Write. Share. Talk to him.
I love you and am with you in spirit.
No Right Way To Do It– Just stop and breathe “Be still and know”. In the stillness, you will know what you are to do. Be thankful for those who care, and quietly do what that inner awareness directs. Love the blogging you’re doing. It’s a great way to get in touch with YOURSELF. Blessings–