Change

I walked
this morning
bare feet on grass
numbing with the cold

Fall is here
less light to
wake me, less
to give me energy

The desire
to hibernate
growing stronger
with each shorter day

Seasons
Cycles of life
Can I pay attention
to the call of what is?

from Cincinnati Enquirer
from Cincinnati Enquirer

I’m noticing I have preconceived ideas of how I should be and of what I should be doing. Ideas of what is socially acceptable, expected, the cultural norm.

Probably my whole life I’ve done what I thought I should, what was right. Now I just want to do what is mine to do. Listening to my inner voice, not always have reasons to back it up. Trusting!

Cincinnati is the host of Blink, a light based art festival covering 30 city blocks. How can I not want to see what will undoubtedly be fantastic art? But I don’t. I’ve revisited my reluctance numerous times until finally I got the message:

Accept what is. You don’t want to go!

Mourning

I want you to be Joseph
to hold me in your arms
and complete me.

But I know the time has come.
I must look inside to realize,
I am whole.

Joseph’s birthday is Oct. 12th. I am surprised at the sadness that has enveloped me. I deeply miss what we had together. I know that moving forward means integrating those parts of me he brought to life — the sense of adventure, my femininity, never meeting a stranger…

It happens — one day at a time!

Life is a journey of awakening, of shedding what we were trained to be, of being willing to open to the mystery of what is now and of what will be.

I am grateful!

CRAZY

…it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much”…
Does that make me crazy?”
*

besliter Port Charlotte, FL

On overwhelm seems the norm.
Out of control racism, sexism,
“other”isms, climate change…

I ache to know an answer.
My body gets heavy with the
not knowing. I want to pull back.

I ground myself in the dirt,
see what’s growing, listen
to the heartbeat of the earth.

I looked in a waiter’s eyes yesterday.
He seemed startled, he noticed.
Really seeing a person, a start.

*Gnarls Barkley – Crazy

I should know. I’ve taught courses on racism, sexism…how could I still get surprised? “I’m a good person, at least I strive to be.” Yet, like a fish in water that doesn’t see water, I’m in a culture where white is shown as intelligent, good, the norm; shown as the face of Jesus.
Others make the news in the crime section of the paper, serve us in restaurants, work in our yards.

Do we have the courage to look, to see clearly? to get over ourselves? Can we stop putting individuals into buckets of stereotypes? Can we work our own shadow and stop projecting our fear, our anger, our neediness onto others?
All “isms” have a history but we need to stop doing what we are doing today. See inequality as affecting the lives of people, not making them inferior, not making us better.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. “. Maya Angelou

REVOLUTION

Questions drive me
What am I?
What am I not?
What do I know is true?

Moving away from
those who proclaim to know
I’m listening to a different voice.

One deep inside
that whispers next steps
demands my unconditional yes
reveals my deepest heartfelt desires

One demanding
I strip bare, stepping away
from my conditioned self to

Sculpture by Debbie Flowers

seek the truth of where
my ideas have come from.
Examining the unexamined,
trusting myself, risk going it alone.

Our world is too much run by fear
too much by the conditioning of others,
the norms they’ve set, serving their own needs.

It’s time to set ourselves free!

Clashing Notes

A note of dissonance
entered the relationship
Notice the offbeat moves
Note to self: it’s over!

besliter 9/5/2019
Poem was written in response to Medium prompt: Note by Fierce Force

Relationships are a mix of our own projections and experiences and those of others.

I wonder if we can ever see someone clearly, without wishful thinking, assumptions, judgements, beliefs.

And even more importantly, can we have the courageous conversations to check out our perceptions? Or, do we just take action based on them?

In this world of polarized opinions/judgments/beliefs, our handling of dissonance seems even more important. So, what will I do……

Desire

Desire

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_3499-768x1024.jpeg

I want simplicity
Life gives me chaos
Things dying
being born
I know nothing

It seems Life is determined to get me out of my head and into my heart. It’s not comfortable. And, at the same time it feels just right. To let this moment lead me to the next thing. Not reacting to, but a deep listening within. What wants to come through me in this moment, be embodied, acted on. … bypassing my head into Being.


Life as I knew it is gone. I feel as if I’m in kindergarten. Who would have thought LOL!

Texting

Sr. Paula Gonzales

Good for data transfer
“I’m here at the back table”
“Running 10 min. late”
“What was the address again”

Or for “I’m thinking of you”
“Good Morning”
“You’re in my prayers”

But not for conversation.
There’s no intimacy,
you can multitask.

If you want to talk
I want your full attention
Your heart not just thoughts

I’m greedy about what
I want from my friends, and
I’m rich because they give it.

Love

What is love?
A feeling of the heart
not between your legs
not “happy head” between your ears

Love just is
a spacious embrace
of the other

You can love everyone
but not want to live with them
not want to hang out with them
not really be able to understand them

Love does not require
understanding, does not
have to make sense

Love baffles the ego
it defies the rules we’ve learned
it goes beyond “tit for tat” and all
sense of who deserves it, who’s enough

Maybe….

Love just is, a Divine gift
embracing us, connecting us
to the Mystery of Life

THE MOTHER IN FATHER’S DAY

We’re part of a long line, yes generations
of women, who couldn’t mother.
Who weren’t mothered themselves.
Whose wounds stopped them from
offering the sustenance, support,
and cuddling so needed.

But the earth is rumbling
a deep remembering
disturbing our souls.
The feminine, the goddess, the
Divine Mother is beginning to
call, signaling “It’s Time.”

To see perfection in each soul
thirsting for acceptance,
safety, affirmation, kindness…
Bringing us back into our bodies
that are numb, afraid, angry.
Letting Divine Love flow and heal.

Reaching out to the long line of men,
generations who couldn’t father,
who weren’t fathered
who repressed what they felt,
who strove to be strong and in control,
yet angry and fearful under it all.

Without the mother,
the father grows brittle

On Father’s Day
the Divine Mother
offers herself.
Drink of me,
Let me hold you
in my embrace

Male and female
Understand you are
two sides of the same coin
blending into wholeness.
Let the Divine Feminine
guide you….TRUST.

Illusion Confusion

What am I trusting?
overwhelmed with images
words that divide,
categorize, demean

pulling out of my own
dysfunction
what do i trust
whom do i trust

the world is filled with
pain, alienation, hunger
for not just food but
love, acceptance

looking out, looking in
emotional tornadoes
swirling dust
blocking vision

Only now, writing
do I remember
Focus on what is true
One Life, One Love

And know that Love
brings us through
lifts us up and ALWAYS
guides us if we listen.

In my head, my mind can’t figure it all out. Reading/watching the news is disorienting at best, painful at worst. The chaos, the push toward separation, excluding “the other”, blame, anger, racism, sexism, and more “isms” than I can learn. The suffering of those surviving floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, children at borders, that face of the woman hunched in the doorway lost, scared, hopeless…

Overwhelmed, my mind stops functioning. Fear starts to rise. My ego “i” can’t handle it.
I’m reminded I have to stop, go in and listen for that still, small Voice. The voice of God, Divine Intelligence, the Universe, unconditional love, Christ… I need to remember what is most important and trust it will lead me to right action. Trust….such a small word, such a huge shift in being.