Heart’s wisdom

Not Him

July 26, 2017 by Barbara

I was getting annoyed with my neighbor.
I’d invite him to visit ,
then get cynical/argumentative.
What was going on?

Another friend sat with me.
She listened as I put the question
out there…waiting.

The answer came,
“He’s not Joseph.”
The tears followed.

It wasn’t the Presence I knew
the Presence I expected
the Presence I so loved.

I keep discovering ways I miss him
Even as I feel him with me
go figure…
‘cause I can’t.

P.S. This isn’t about my neighbor whom I truly like. It’s just what happened. I continue to allow the feelings to flow through me the best I can, trusting that it is as it should be. Being willing to see, to feel in the moment, even when it’s uncomfortable, embarrassing, is to me being here now. It allows me to release the thoughts/emotions so I can come closer to touching the silence within. So be it.

Filed Under: Emotion, Heart's wisdom, Life, Love, We are creators

Death…of those we love

July 4, 2017 by Barbara

A number of books about death
have floated my way.
It may be the aging of baby boomers,
or it may be another coming out of the closet.

A culture that believes you can pull yourself
up by the boot straps,
buy yourself out of any situation…
finding out that Life has the last laugh.

Death will either crack you open
to the magic of each moment or
create scar tissue that
has no feeling.

Grieving is humbling
corralling you into the present
no where to go
a journey

you can’t control,
or even understand
simultaneously you’re numb and
more alive then you’ve ever been.

Filed Under: Emotion, Heart's wisdom, Love Tagged With: death, grief, yin yang

The Flow of Life

June 1, 2017 by Barbara

Worms feed robins
Mice feed coyotes
Cattle feed humans

Everything gives
of itself to sustain life
Our bodies decay

and feed the earth
The air we exhale,
others breathe in

The dance of life
The sacred giving
and receiving

Stop the flow
and you are
out of step

You suddenly think
you are more important
then the field mice

This form will end.
The only thing that
lives on is our love

It flows on like a river
through everything,
until resting in the ocean

it evaporates
lifting into clouds, and
the dance starts again.

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Life, Love, Systems

Grief

May 29, 2017 by Barbara

When a woman screams
during childbirth.
Does she need healing?

Her life has certainly
changed forever, in ways
beyond imagination.

When a woman keens the
loss of a child,
Is it healing she needs?

Loss isn’t a wound
you put salve on
and the skin grows back.

Loss is a space
A void that pulls you
into a reordering of life

Without him, who am I?
How do I spend my time?
Who do I tell my secrets to?

The cycle of life forces us
to detach, to remember
our deeper truth

To reach up or in
To reconnect with the Love
that is not dependent on form.

Grief is a mini death that
brings us home to anchor,
to remember what’s important

Grief strips us,
and then connects us
to each other and to God

Filed Under: Fear or Courage, Heart's wisdom, Life, Love

Left Behind

May 27, 2017 by Barbara

Last night it hit
the sobs came
in waves

A neighbor stopped
by with a card
and the dam broke

The card was for me
not him,
my life had changed

I loved him so much
we were both at peace
he was ready to go

Somehow I kept at bay
how sobs and cries echo
in a room when you’re alone

“Who should we call
in case of emergency”
I’ll get back with you on that.

Today I’m resting in the
now of my life. not knowing
the next step, knowing I’m

kin to all those before me
who stand alone, aware they
were left behind.

Filed Under: Emotion, Fear or Courage, Heart's wisdom, Life, Love

Twenty Questions

May 25, 2017 by Barbara

Twenty questions*
* A workshop exercise we used to use to help people get past the superficial answers, only the question was “who am I”. This “Twenty Questions” comes from the concern of friends and family. What do I say…..

How are you? I don’t know
How are you? Here. No that’s good, really.
How are you? Thinking
How are you? Getting things done
How are you? Feeling supported
How are you? Grateful, I had him for so long
How are you? Noticing the silence
How are you? Getting things done
How are you? Grateful for my friends
How are you? Wondering how the bed got sooo big
How are you? Trying to remember how to buy food for one
How are you? I just am
How are you? I don’t know, sad
How are you? Weeding the garden
How are you? My back hurts
How are you? Trying to sleep through the night
How are you? Peaceful
How are you? Wanting to make sure others’ needs are met
How are you? Waiting for death certificates
How are you? It’s just the beginning, I don’t know