-- a journey into awareness
So you’re here
What good is it
if you’re unhappy
Be present
This seems
the first step
But then, what’s next?
Accept what is
Stop fighting it, judging it, telling stories about it
Notice what you’re feeling
Where in your body do you feel it?
How do you feel about you when you’re feeling this?
Listen to your inner voice
Let it occur to you,
what’s mine to do?
Release
Breath, move, yell, dance….
So simple
So hard
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“Man, sometimes it takes a long time to sound like yourself.“ ~Miles Davis
When we start, we make sounds but we’re surrounded by others who are also making sounds. We listen. They tell us how to play, tell us what we should sound like. They argue among themselves about the right way to play. So we play. If we can, we play with others. Some of us find ourselves playing in a jazz group, others in a symphony, others in an alley behind where we live, and still others play alone in the shelter of the woods.
Overtime we begin to notice what feels natural. Our music starts flowing through us. The notes start coming from deeper place, somewhere inside. And we begin to appreciate that this is what we’re here to play. It’s our music. We appreciate other’s music but we don’t try to play like them. And we don’t tell them to play like us.
We develop confidence, not because others approve or because they change but because we know it is our music to play regardless of results. This is faith.
“Only in “the cave of the heart,” as the mystics are fond of calling it—does a person come in contact with his or her own direct knowingness. And only out of this direct knowingness is sovereignty born, one’s own inner authority.” —Cynthia Bourgeault
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I’m tired
I’m sad
I’m sad so many friends are seriously sick and/or dying
I’m sad so many politicians would rather destroy people than debate ideas.
I’m sad that we’re still killing people all over the world in the name of war.
I’m sad that we think you can win a war.
I’m sad that 70% of the women in Ghana are still disfigured through genital mutilation (FGM)
I’m sad that our politicians think they should impose their beliefs on the rest of us
I’m sad that CEOs make 200 times what their workers do and their salaries increased 13% while salaried workers only rose 4%
I’m sad that too many men still think they must control women to be truly “a man”
I’m sad that we’re destroying life on this planet
I’m sad that love hurts
I’m sad people are homeless, education is biased towards the rich, food deserts are real
I’m sad clean water, air and a healthy planet are not a priority
I’m sad I can’t always see the gifts I’ve been given
I’m sad because I still think I should be able to fix things
I’m sad because I don’t know what to do
I could go on, but I know I’m missing the whole truth
There are good people every where
There are kind and compassionate ones who volunteer their time, talent or treasure to benefit others
God, Divine intelligence and Divine Love, is everywhere in everyone and in everything.
I need to remember I’m not in charge of the Universe (thank goodness)
But I can choose to Love…have a reverence for all life and remember to respect the life in front of me
And maybe, the most important thing…. I can just Smile more
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I started to look for my phone and passed my printer. It said I needed to replace a cartridge. I started to do that and remembered I was on my way to the basement to get toilet paper. Went down to get it and saw the Kitty litter needed cleaning. Did that and got the Toilet paper. I passed the kitchen counter and realized I hadn’t finished the letter to my sister yet. Oh yes, the phone, let me use the old flip phone to call myself. Oh, there it is on the porch. I got distracted when I saw the cat throw-up and decided I’d better clean it up before the heat cemented it into the rug. And then I remembered to put up the toilet paper. Oh, and I need to send that email to my neighbor before I forget. And, I need a new phone. I need to check them out but am I ready to take on more technology?…
Why do I feel distracted, unsettled? Life seemed simpler when I had one big project or thing to focus on. I get caught up in the minutia of life.
Breath! Settle back into my body. Remember what matters.
Do what needs to be done but stay present. So I exhale. Practice, practice, practice.
What is acceptance? I’m defining it as acknowledging what is, the current reality, without judgement.
Without accepting what is, I believe we spend our time fighting, analyzing or repressing it. The alternative is to be aware of it, and then ask ourselves “If this is current reality, is this what I want? And if not, what do I want in my life.”
“When I say “welcome to reality,” I am saying, “Welcome, self, to reality, both what I know and what I don’t know.” And I am also saying, “Welcome, reality, whatever you are, both known and unknown, into my awareness.” Brian McLaren, from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations, May 13, 2024
Eckart Tolle says “To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent on things being in a certain way, good or bad.”
Acceptance of what is, the first step in creating the life we want.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
What makes you come alive? What does coming alive even mean?
I’ve been sitting with this question all month. Then this came to me last night.
I think it starts with realizing I _am_ alive. In this moment, experiencing through my body what’s around me, what I taste, smell, hear and feel in my body. Knowing that my body tells me when something is off.
There is a vibrancy to being in this moment. And, I believe it’s from this being place that I find what I am drawn to, my passion. And perhaps, following my passion is my purpose in life. Doing what I want for myself, for others, and for the collective whole.
It’s ok for me to be me, to feel and live big (i.e. don’t be concerned with what others think),
to trust my guidance and follow my heart. And, once you “come alive,” the challenge is to stay there. The journey continues.
If you find yourself in this familiar time of year, but are seeing and experiencing it with what feel like unfamiliar eyes, may your vision be sharpened to take in what you missed during all those years you saw what you expected to see and felt what you expected to feel. May you experience the unfamiliar as an unfolding and not as an undoing. And may you not take any of it, or yourself, even a tiny bit more seriously than absolutely necessary.
Nadia Bolz-Weber Dec. 16, 2023
I’m not feeling “Christmassy”. I don’t know why. I find myself trying to come up with a story, even though I know stories are just that. I’ve driven around looking at Christmas lights because that always brings me up…only it doesn’t.
My mind is in overdrive.
How do I let go of everything trying to get my attention? Wars, disasters, pleas for money, friends who are sick, endings… Everything is changing. Is it really unfolding?
I don’t know. So maybe I’ll just exhale and believe what my T-Shirt says:
friend /frĕnd/. noun
-A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
-A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
-A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
The American Heritage® Dictionary, 5th Edition
What is a friend? Who is a friend?
Someone I have known but didn’t really hang out with suddenly started having medical issues. She called me and I’ve been helping her with doctor appointments and errands.
She considers me a friend. I’ve been reluctant to call her one.
The people I’ve learned to call friends are the ones I can be totally “me” with. It’s mutual. We have similar interests. I want to explain when someone asks if I’m her friend that I’ve only started being with her since she started needing my help.
Sometimes I think by not considering her a friend, I’m setting some kind of boundary so I won’t feel bad about not responding to all her requests. But you can have a friend and still set boundaries can’t you?
Sunday, Rev. Dee at CSLGC (https://fb.watch/osTmPJ7FZj/) talked about seeing the sacred in everything and everyone. Then, a friend told me that Quakers call all other Quakers “friends” even if they’ve never met them. And, I realized, she is a friend.
I believe there is only One Life. We are interdependent and all connected in that One Life. So, if I’m to embody what I believe, if I want to see the sacred in everyone, then of course they are “a friend.“ And I know when I’m with a friend, there is a softness in my heart and I stop thinking of myself as separate. It is all sacred.
So, thank you my friends for reading this. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I see one more
“Vote No” sign
For the issue
I hold so dear
I will scream
I go into my head
And make up rebuttals
Brilliant ones
That show
the hypocrisy
of the other
I’m trapped
in this world
of separation
This is the paradox of living in a world of cause and effect. One where we create and, at the same time, are affected by the creations of others. What we control is our state of being. Can I be at peace in the midst of something? Or, am I controlled by the actions and manipulations of others.
Anger can bring one to take action. But it can also, as we continue to tell stories about what triggered our anger, bring us to rage, violence, hatred, and of course my favorite, self-righteousness.
I’m learning that when you come from love and being centered, you can still say “no”, “enough” “stop!” And you can still see the other as part of the One, which they are. You are energetically connected, you’re impacting each other. Don’t turn them into that separate “Other” and think your anger doesn’t hurt them or isn’t hurting you.
So, when I go off in my head, I learning to shift to my center by: breathing more consciously, repeating a mantra I learned a long time ago, humming, by thinking of my cat curled in my lap or, just by smiling.
These days there are plenty of opportunities to practice shifting to being centered. And each time I do, I believe I’m contributing to the kind of world I want to see. I’m being the kind of person I want to be.
May you be free from self-doubt
May you be free from the judgements of others
May you be free from false beliefs
May you be free from fear
May you be free from needing to judge others
May you be free from the cultural stereotypes imposed on you
May you be free from anything that stops you from love and being at peace
Be your sacred and precious true Self !
