Reunion…and then there’s people

REUNION

Letting go of others’
expectations and beliefs
I’m finally coming
home to my self.

Poem written in response to the Chalkboard prompt “reunion” by Chris Coolsma. 9.3.20

And then there’s people.* That relationship, the one that leaves you wanting a glass of wine or two or three.

The problem with “coming” is you aren’t there yet. You’re in that in-between space where you aren’t where you were, but you haven’t arrived to that place where you fly consistently from you inner guidance.

When I arrive, I believe I’ll be able to be with others without judgment, without defense. I resist the idea that I may move on and leave them. Why? Is it fear of being alone? Self-judgement because I should be able to hang with anyone? I mean Jesus did, didn’t He?

Maybe I’m not accepting others where they are, maybe I’m still trying to tweak them just enough so there’s no rub. Maybe, maybe, maybe….

Awash in “maybes,” I’m going to stop, breath and accept the not knowing. Get out of my head and trust it’s just the way it is right now. I know if I’m to see something or to do something, it will come to me. I just keep forgetting.

*no this isn’t you.

Birth day(s)

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Each day the same.
Yet unexpected.
I walk alone,
birthing friendship with Self, grass, birds, trees, smiles, nods…
Alone, the world holds me.

Written in response to the Medium’s Chalkboard prompt: Birthday By Dermott Hayes, April 9, 2020

Naked

We are heart
pounding beats of life
feeling the ocean in waves

letting go
I am more
available to what is

emerging through me
with my “YES”
to life & love

I am dance
the music plays
It moves through me

CRAZY

…it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much”…
Does that make me crazy?”
*

besliter Port Charlotte, FL

On overwhelm seems the norm.
Out of control racism, sexism,
“other”isms, climate change…

I ache to know an answer.
My body gets heavy with the
not knowing. I want to pull back.

I ground myself in the dirt,
see what’s growing, listen
to the heartbeat of the earth.

I looked in a waiter’s eyes yesterday.
He seemed startled, he noticed.
Really seeing a person, a start.

*Gnarls Barkley – Crazy

I should know. I’ve taught courses on racism, sexism…how could I still get surprised? “I’m a good person, at least I strive to be.” Yet, like a fish in water that doesn’t see water, I’m in a culture where white is shown as intelligent, good, the norm; shown as the face of Jesus.
Others make the news in the crime section of the paper, serve us in restaurants, work in our yards.

Do we have the courage to look, to see clearly? to get over ourselves? Can we stop putting individuals into buckets of stereotypes? Can we work our own shadow and stop projecting our fear, our anger, our neediness onto others?
All “isms” have a history but we need to stop doing what we are doing today. See inequality as affecting the lives of people, not making them inferior, not making us better.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. “. Maya Angelou

REVOLUTION

Questions drive me
What am I?
What am I not?
What do I know is true?

Moving away from
those who proclaim to know
I’m listening to a different voice.

One deep inside
that whispers next steps
demands my unconditional yes
reveals my deepest heartfelt desires

One demanding
I strip bare, stepping away
from my conditioned self to

Sculpture by Debbie Flowers

seek the truth of where
my ideas have come from.
Examining the unexamined,
trusting myself, risk going it alone.

Our world is too much run by fear
too much by the conditioning of others,
the norms they’ve set, serving their own needs.

It’s time to set ourselves free!

Desire

Desire

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I want simplicity
Life gives me chaos
Things dying
being born
I know nothing

It seems Life is determined to get me out of my head and into my heart. It’s not comfortable. And, at the same time it feels just right. To let this moment lead me to the next thing. Not reacting to, but a deep listening within. What wants to come through me in this moment, be embodied, acted on. … bypassing my head into Being.


Life as I knew it is gone. I feel as if I’m in kindergarten. Who would have thought LOL!

Texting

Sr. Paula Gonzales

Good for data transfer
“I’m here at the back table”
“Running 10 min. late”
“What was the address again”

Or for “I’m thinking of you”
“Good Morning”
“You’re in my prayers”

But not for conversation.
There’s no intimacy,
you can multitask.

If you want to talk
I want your full attention
Your heart not just thoughts

I’m greedy about what
I want from my friends, and
I’m rich because they give it.

Love

What is love?
A feeling of the heart
not between your legs
not “happy head” between your ears

Love just is
a spacious embrace
of the other

You can love everyone
but not want to live with them
not want to hang out with them
not really be able to understand them

Love does not require
understanding, does not
have to make sense

Love baffles the ego
it defies the rules we’ve learned
it goes beyond “tit for tat” and all
sense of who deserves it, who’s enough

Maybe….

Love just is, a Divine gift
embracing us, connecting us
to the Mystery of Life

THE MOTHER IN FATHER’S DAY

We’re part of a long line, yes generations
of women, who couldn’t mother.
Who weren’t mothered themselves.
Whose wounds stopped them from
offering the sustenance, support,
and cuddling so needed.

But the earth is rumbling
a deep remembering
disturbing our souls.
The feminine, the goddess, the
Divine Mother is beginning to
call, signaling “It’s Time.”

To see perfection in each soul
thirsting for acceptance,
safety, affirmation, kindness…
Bringing us back into our bodies
that are numb, afraid, angry.
Letting Divine Love flow and heal.

Reaching out to the long line of men,
generations who couldn’t father,
who weren’t fathered
who repressed what they felt,
who strove to be strong and in control,
yet angry and fearful under it all.

Without the mother,
the father grows brittle

On Father’s Day
the Divine Mother
offers herself.
Drink of me,
Let me hold you
in my embrace

Male and female
Understand you are
two sides of the same coin
blending into wholeness.
Let the Divine Feminine
guide you….TRUST.

Broken

I’m mad that you are not getting it.
Can’t you see the pattern?
Over and over again?
Getting the same results?
Running won’t get you anywhere.
You need to dig deep and find the
courage to face his lies about you.
To trust you aren’t what he tells you,
not even what you tell yourself.
Dad’s winning
I am so angry, so helpless.
Three glasses of wine aren’t helping.
What do I do?
Where’s my center?
It’s my pattern over
and over again.
Hilarious!
We are joined at the hip.