-- a journey into awareness
So you’re here
What good is it
if you’re unhappy
Be present
This seems
the first step
But then, what’s next?
Accept what is
Stop fighting it, judging it, telling stories about it
Notice what you’re feeling
Where in your body do you feel it?
How do you feel about you when you’re feeling this?
Listen to your inner voice
Let it occur to you,
what’s mine to do?
Release
Breath, move, yell, dance….
So simple
So hard
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I’m tired
I’m sad
I’m sad so many friends are seriously sick and/or dying
I’m sad so many politicians would rather destroy people than debate ideas.
I’m sad that we’re still killing people all over the world in the name of war.
I’m sad that we think you can win a war.
I’m sad that 70% of the women in Ghana are still disfigured through genital mutilation (FGM)
I’m sad that our politicians think they should impose their beliefs on the rest of us
I’m sad that CEOs make 200 times what their workers do and their salaries increased 13% while salaried workers only rose 4%
I’m sad that too many men still think they must control women to be truly “a man”
I’m sad that we’re destroying life on this planet
I’m sad that love hurts
I’m sad people are homeless, education is biased towards the rich, food deserts are real
I’m sad clean water, air and a healthy planet are not a priority
I’m sad I can’t always see the gifts I’ve been given
I’m sad because I still think I should be able to fix things
I’m sad because I don’t know what to do
I could go on, but I know I’m missing the whole truth
There are good people every where
There are kind and compassionate ones who volunteer their time, talent or treasure to benefit others
God, Divine intelligence and Divine Love, is everywhere in everyone and in everything.
I need to remember I’m not in charge of the Universe (thank goodness)
But I can choose to Love…have a reverence for all life and remember to respect the life in front of me
And maybe, the most important thing…. I can just Smile more
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I’m addicted to billboards these days. I saw this one and I thought, “Does this mean people should live in fear of not getting it right, of eternal damnation after they die?”
I believe the Divine works through us, guides us when we are open to listening. What if we chose to co-create Heaven on earth now? What would Heaven on earth look like?
What do you envision as Heaven on earth? What do you want to experience?
Spring has sprung
the vision of beaches
and vacations loom
And, the billboards show up:
Breast Augmentations $6900.00
Tummy Tucks $1000.00 off
White, slim, voluptuous women
Are you in?
NO, I’M NOT IN! But after ranting, I decided to stop being manipulated by other’s money making definitions of beauty.
So I return to nature where each flower, plant and so-called weed shows up, whether someone likes it or not. Each divinely created life is authentic to its own unique self regardless of someone’s judgement. The sun shines on every flower, plant, and weed alike.
So too, we are meant to show up and be authentic to our own nature. We are not meant to be controlled by externally determined rules for how we should be or look to please someone else. I seek to please myself, to love myself. And that is enough.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
What makes you come alive? What does coming alive even mean?
I’ve been sitting with this question all month. Then this came to me last night.
I think it starts with realizing I _am_ alive. In this moment, experiencing through my body what’s around me, what I taste, smell, hear and feel in my body. Knowing that my body tells me when something is off.
There is a vibrancy to being in this moment. And, I believe it’s from this being place that I find what I am drawn to, my passion. And perhaps, following my passion is my purpose in life. Doing what I want for myself, for others, and for the collective whole.
It’s ok for me to be me, to feel and live big (i.e. don’t be concerned with what others think),
to trust my guidance and follow my heart. And, once you “come alive,” the challenge is to stay there. The journey continues.
friend /frĕnd/. noun
-A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
-A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
-A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
The American Heritage® Dictionary, 5th Edition
What is a friend? Who is a friend?
Someone I have known but didn’t really hang out with suddenly started having medical issues. She called me and I’ve been helping her with doctor appointments and errands.
She considers me a friend. I’ve been reluctant to call her one.
The people I’ve learned to call friends are the ones I can be totally “me” with. It’s mutual. We have similar interests. I want to explain when someone asks if I’m her friend that I’ve only started being with her since she started needing my help.
Sometimes I think by not considering her a friend, I’m setting some kind of boundary so I won’t feel bad about not responding to all her requests. But you can have a friend and still set boundaries can’t you?
Sunday, Rev. Dee at CSLGC (https://fb.watch/osTmPJ7FZj/) talked about seeing the sacred in everything and everyone. Then, a friend told me that Quakers call all other Quakers “friends” even if they’ve never met them. And, I realized, she is a friend.
I believe there is only One Life. We are interdependent and all connected in that One Life. So, if I’m to embody what I believe, if I want to see the sacred in everyone, then of course they are “a friend.“ And I know when I’m with a friend, there is a softness in my heart and I stop thinking of myself as separate. It is all sacred.
So, thank you my friends for reading this. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I see one more
“Vote No” sign
For the issue
I hold so dear
I will scream
I go into my head
And make up rebuttals
Brilliant ones
That show
the hypocrisy
of the other
I’m trapped
in this world
of separation
This is the paradox of living in a world of cause and effect. One where we create and, at the same time, are affected by the creations of others. What we control is our state of being. Can I be at peace in the midst of something? Or, am I controlled by the actions and manipulations of others.
Anger can bring one to take action. But it can also, as we continue to tell stories about what triggered our anger, bring us to rage, violence, hatred, and of course my favorite, self-righteousness.
I’m learning that when you come from love and being centered, you can still say “no”, “enough” “stop!” And you can still see the other as part of the One, which they are. You are energetically connected, you’re impacting each other. Don’t turn them into that separate “Other” and think your anger doesn’t hurt them or isn’t hurting you.
So, when I go off in my head, I learning to shift to my center by: breathing more consciously, repeating a mantra I learned a long time ago, humming, by thinking of my cat curled in my lap or, just by smiling.
These days there are plenty of opportunities to practice shifting to being centered. And each time I do, I believe I’m contributing to the kind of world I want to see. I’m being the kind of person I want to be.
“You must fight, take sides,
WIN!”
Join the drama….
The body holds me back
Keeping me safe
I don’t share I’m
not buying into the struggle
Because being happy in the midst of…
It’s not how “we” do
I believe it’s not about “Being Right”,
it’s about “Being Here,” breathing deeply
Feeling into my heart.
Relaxing does not mean not caring
Being happy & seeing the good
Doesn’t mean ignoring pain
Without my Centering Heart
My head goes into overdrive
Overwhelm moves into my chest
And the heaviness stops my breath
And then the world is a threat, others
Are a threat.
So, I’m learning
Breath, relax, trust
Become aware of my heart
And listen to the inner voice
It’s rooted in love and wisdom
It’s my hope and what the world needs
I’m committed to doing what is mine to do. My heart knows. I just have to listen.
A simple word, yet
It had escaped me
I’m not alone, not a widow
I’m single!
Freeing in a way I don’t understand
Not wounded, not left behind
But standing as one, as ONE
Connecting deeply to myself
Connecting to a bigger whole
I’m free to start again with
New interests, friends…
As I am now…single.
In conversation with my friend Lee Ann, she said something. She didn’t see me alone, I was single. And something happened. I could feel an internal shift. I felt grounded.
I was myself again, rooted into the earth, free to blossom.
It’s crazy I know! But I’m going with the feeling, trusting this shift is real. Another stage in life, a continuation of this incredible journey. Joseph is still with me, laughing I suspect and cheering me on. Love never stops even as life changes. And maybe nothing changes but me.
Anger bubble up
Always a surprise
Why am I so easily upset
Impatient, annoyed?
The energy of days past
Losses I think are not
controlled by the Calendar
seem to have their way with me.
Once again I connect the dots
And let myself feel the
Sadness, the loss, the
Anger at having been left.
I’m always surprised that when it gets near the dates that my daughter, Kelly (May12, 2016), and my husband, Joseph’s (May22, 2017), died that my emotions get weird. I’ve been irritable, even swearing in situations that might have been difficult before but now seem absolutely “NOT OK!!!!”.
At least I’m quicker to see what’s going on. So, here I am, allowing myself to feel the loss and, yes, the anger that I got left alone. Silly? No, human. Grief is what it is. I’m learning it is not always rational, but whatever I’m feeling is ok…I need to allow it, feel it, not tell more stories about it…just let it go.
To life, love and all it’s crazy paradoxes and mysteries.