Anger bubble up
Always a surprise
Why am I so easily upset
Impatient, annoyed?
The energy of days past
Losses I think are not
controlled by the Calendar
seem to have their way with me.
Once again I connect the dots
And let myself feel the
Sadness, the loss, the
Anger at having been left.
I’m always surprised that when it gets near the dates that my daughter, Kelly (May12, 2016), and my husband, Joseph’s (May22, 2017), died that my emotions get weird. I’ve been irritable, even swearing in situations that might have been difficult before but now seem absolutely “NOT OK!!!!”.
At least I’m quicker to see what’s going on. So, here I am, allowing myself to feel the loss and, yes, the anger that I got left alone. Silly? No, human. Grief is what it is. I’m learning it is not always rational, but whatever I’m feeling is ok…I need to allow it, feel it, not tell more stories about it…just let it go.
To life, love and all it’s crazy paradoxes and mysteries.