COVID’s Fault

I’m in a codependent relationship.
He’s a control freak.
He calls. I see what he wants.
He expects treats. I give them.
Magnanimously, he cuddles with me,
……I’m hooked.

“Buddy”

Poem originally written in response to the Chalkboard prompt by Rhonda Marrone.

Life Flows*

My Spirit
rises and falls
Riding the waves
’til it rests
in this place
of now…
in peace, in love,
in freedom.

I wish all of you a Happy New Year, knowing for each of you only the highest and best.

  • originally published in Medium 1/1/2021

PEACE

I’m not who you want me to be
not your expectations of woman
not your ideal daughter
Not behaving the way you think I should
Not living in fear and self-judgment

I believe what I do
I feel what I feel
I let go of my stories, they’re history
I’m going to stop being embarrassed
because I’m happy and you aren’t

I’m accepting my body as it is
my sexuality and desires as they are
Being right here, right now
is taking on new meaning
because it’s true, I AM

This year has been about letting go of what I’m not. Of letting fall away what is not mine to have. It’s been about being at peace in the middle of chaos, anger, distortions and the fear all around us. It’s been about learning to not blame anything outside of me for what I’m feeling inside.

These changes have been unfolding all year. They are the precious gifts given to me this year.
So this Christmas, I’m choosing peace. acceptance of what is, faith in what I cannot know, trust in mySelf and most importantly trust in this Divine Love, Intelligence, Presence that surrounds me.

I wish for all of you Peace and Happiness. Merry Christmas!

Tomorrow is one of those days….

What will you surround yourself with?
Will you notice when fear starts to take hold?
Notice when anger starts to erode your peace?

This moment is all you have.
Breathe and look for the good.
Breathe and be thankful you can.

If love is all there is
If love is stronger then hate
then love will find a way no matter what.

Tomorrow is going to be a nonstop media circus, and it may go on for days.
Now is the time for each of us to decide how we want to live, how we want to experience this precious life we’ve been given.

We might as well consciously choose to accept “what is” because worry, anger, or fear won’t change it. Once we accept what is, we can choose how we want to respond.

We can choose peace. We can figure out what it really means to choose love. We can focus on what’s most important to us and embody it. It’s time.


” May love move me to co-create freedom and well-being for all.” from bell hooks

My Shot

Now when I don’t hear from you I worry
I used to think you were just busy
or maybe out of town or really
just having a great time

Now, is it COVID?
is the isolation starting to depress you?
were you shot during a peaceful protest?
are you running away from the toxic news?

I can’t assume you’ll be here tomorrow
so forgive me if I seem to pester you
nothing can be taken for granted
and the truth is, I love you

Social Media gives anyone a forum to voice their opinions as truth and to dare others to disagree. Fear and violence are repeated by the news until it seems the norm. My challenge is to notice when I’m being pulled under, and to shift my focus.

I believe acting in love is stronger than hate and fear. I know peace is mine if I choose it. This is mine to do.

I’m not throwing away my shot.” from Hamilton

“You think like a man”

A patriarchal figure head
A father figure
Someone I trusted
It was a sexist thing to say
but I had to work to get there

Work through my rage
work through my hurt
work through “I’m not enough”
yet again

I am a woman
I think like me
not like all other women
not like your stereotype

Stop defining us , confining us
in the cage of your mind
Start seeing me
standing in front of you
me, as I am

Because from now on
that’s all I’m willing to be
Content with my uniqueness
me as I AM

besliter 8/24/20

I wrote this in response to what was said to me by someone I trusted. The gift given was the opportunity to work through my triggers…to set myself free.

What’s in a sign?

It’s only a sign!
Why put it out?
Who will even see it
in my cul-de-sac?

I don’t want to forget…
get sidetracked by extremism.

It’s only a sign!
it won’t save lives
it won’t change policy
it won’t heal wounds

But it is a truth…
I don’t want to forget.

COVID19, BLACK LIVES MATTER…my words have left me.

I’ve been too overwhelmed with it all to write, thinking it’s already been said, or it doesn’t matter, or that I just don’t have the words. The questions seem to abound.

Re: COVID19- What is really true? What is really known and what is still being understood. What’s politically motivated or self serving? What is freedom? Where do personal freedom and compassion intersect? Isn’t living in fear worse the getting the virus?
Re: Black Lives Matter- Somethings were too painful to watch the first time, do I really want to talk about it again? What can you say that isn’t more dividing? How can you stop generalizing to everyone in a perceived group? Do people really want to understand “racism,” systemic bias, our history?
And what about the creative process? I’ve been asked, “Isn’t focusing on all the violence, discrimination, white superiority etc., just giving more energy to what you don’t want?

So this may be the first of a series as I sort through my answers, letting the feelings flow over me and the thoughts swirl.

I’ve come to realize and value letting myself feel the feelings as opposed to pushing them down. This has been, and is, a major part of moving through this complicated time; breathing through the feelings, not getting lost in them. And being overwhelmed at times seems like it is part of being human….and, I’m realizing, that includes me.

I also know that I can choose to live in heaven or hell right now. When I choose to see the possibilities, the genuine care of many, and when I trust that love is stronger than hate and fear, I live in heaven.

And finally, I believe these times are sacred and we are being given an opportunity to sift through what is happening, work together in ways we may never have before and arrive at a place we haven’t yet imagined.

I hope you’ll stay tuned. I know I will. LOL!

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

[This came to me as a partial answer after asking, “What’s mine to do in this pandemic world we live in; a world with such inequalities, unknowns and isolation?”]

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

He didn’t topple governments
He didn’t stop people from killing each other
He didn’t close the gap between the elites and poor.

He simply lived the Truth:
We are not separate from the Father
What He could do, we could, if we remembered.

Jesus didn’t change any thing
He was his true Self,
and people changed.

The message in this for me was to remember. To become conscious of what I was creating through my thoughts and feelings. To choose to see the good, to feel compassion, gratitude, appreciation. Right now, that is mine to do.

*excluding the water into wine and the loaves and fishes “things”

Note: I used Father but to me God is Father/Mother/Friend.

Naked

We are heart
pounding beats of life
feeling the ocean in waves

letting go
I am more
available to what is

emerging through me
with my “YES”
to life & love

I am dance
the music plays
It moves through me