Tripped by An Angel

The fall happened,
pain seared through
the already injured
shoulder, another skin tear.

The world shifted.
Is this it, the unsteadiness
the weakness
the pain?

But dawn came.
There’s a follow-up with
the chiropractor
this morning, perfect!

The skin tear, we’re out
anyway, let’s visit the
Wound Doctor
on the way home.

He finds the blood blister
we’ve been ignoring.
Necrotic he says.
WHAT?

Without the fall
without that shoulder visit
without that skin tear
we’d not have known.

An angel tripped him.
led us along to find the
perfect help before it was
too late.

Wow!

 

I am  reminded how we are being helped, not always in the way we expect. But, always moving us, blessing us.  Like the parable of the Chinese farmer, you can’t judge an event without knowing the whole picture. The one we never have at the moment. Good comes from the terrible. Just when we think we’ve got it made, something happens.

We’re on the roller coaster of life, to judge is to add suffering to the ride. In stead we could stay in the “wow” as Ram Dass recently said. Wow, look at this! I wonder what’s next?

about distraction, light sides and dark sides….

I’m noticing my windows need cleaning…
the sun will do that to you.
We crave the light only to find
dust bunnies under the table.

There’s always something
pulling you out of joy.
Noticing turns into
a “to do” list,

or an irritant, how
it should be different.
The mind
having free rein

drags you
into perpetual
discontent, blind to
life’s magic.

Reverse course
Let wonder humble you
See with curiosity.
Get yourself lost,

make love, be intimate
with what’s around you.
Engage the world always
for the first time.

And that bird is….oh, just a robin.

 

 

“Maybe it doesn’t want to be identified.”
    from The New Yorker Jan. 9, 2017

 

 

Maybe, just maybe, “it” doesn’t want to be identified because once it is, people stop paying attention.
“Oh, just a robin.”

We all yearn to be seen and understood. Yet too often, once we “identify” someone or something as being a certain way, we stop paying attention. We never really see them again, blind to who they are now. We see what we expect to see. We stop being curious.

True, we come by labeling legitimately. Identifying things and making distinctions have been key to surviving: knowing a poisonous mushroom from a morel ; a copperhead from a harmless garter snake, a stranger from a member of your tribe.   It’s how primitive man (and woman) lived long enough to discover the world. An unidentified difference equaled a perceived threat until someone, brave enough, curious enough, got to know it.

Practically, the ability to identify something also means we don’t have to think about everything all the time. “I know [fill in the blank]. It’s OK.”   It’s the practical side of stereotyping.  You don’t have to start from scratch. You draw on your experience, cultural norms, what you’ve been taught. You can build up a “that is safe” pile. But then, by default, you also have a “that is dangerous” pile you tend to fear.

So what’s the downside?  Our preconceived notions limit our experience of the world, as well as our experience of people.

When labels or how we identify something becomes the primary mode of interacting, we stop experiencing life. You see what you remember as being there, what you think should be there: the uniqueness and diversity within groups is missed, change unnoticed, exceptions dismissed if seen at all.

So yes, “that’s a robin.”  But maybe it doesn’t want to be identified, categorized, put in a box.

Try getting curious.  Let yourself be surprised. Notice, what’s different about this robin.

In relationship you experience life!

And Religious Freedom is…..?

Warning: Written after reading about, and pondering, Trump’s draft on defining religious freedom. This post is blasphemous. It may offend you. Don’t read it. I just have to write it.

Sometimes I think the human species is like a fetus: full of potential. But, if the Life that holds it decides, it can be ended.

Like spoiled children we will fight to the death over our special knowing of God and His truth. We cannot conceive of a God bigger than our own religion, our own experience; it’s too scary. We have to be right, others have to be wrong. Complexity makes us uneasy, angry even.

We’ve grown in technology, our economy has spread across oceans, our science has discovered constellations and black holes….yet, we cling to our small notion of God. He couldn’t have blessed the Christian, the Buddhist, the Hindu, and of course not the Muslim, right? And the traditions of Native Indians? Well they were primitive, and in the wrong place at the wrong time.

We hold to the belief that there is only one path to God. And that path is, of course, through our particular Savior, Prophet, Enlightened One. We can’t even consider that God might delight in being discovered in a temple, in an ashram, a cathedral, a mosque or even just in silence. We can’t consider the possibility that He can send His Son with no intention of setting Him up in competition with Buddha.   We forget that all of life, all over the globe is His creation. Our God is small….

We’re not content to live our beliefs. We must convince others they are wrong. And if they don’t agree, force them…through law, through domination. When religion marries government, it can only go off. A sign the fruits of our beliefs are so weak, living them is not enough. God’s justice is not enough. We must intervene.

Abortion is the hot button. Murder! Yet we manage to put it in a different category than all the other life/death choices made. Choices made according to the criteria we’ve determined are right: collateral damage happens; who gets the kidney;  when profit is more important then clean water/air. We have fought righteous wars over sugar, land, oil. We argue over whether should there be a death penalty. We eat meat because we can (we’ve dominion over them).  God evidently set it up so we’d have to make choices, deal with gray areas.  We don’t like it.  

I think it’s why we focus so determinedly on abortion. Here we can be self righteous in our interpretation of “Thou shalt not kill.”  It’s emotional – a baby after all (or a potential baby). In it’s defense, we can put aside the times when we’ve made trade-offs about which life matters most.  In a world that is complex and messy, maybe we need to grab onto something that doesn’t immediately affect us. It’s a relief to focus on someone else’s womb, someone else’s choice.

I realize the irony of this post, pushing my beliefs in the name of Truth, as others do theirs. People I respect, who are sincere in their beliefs. People who don’t believe we can coexist: that someone has to win, one religion and it’s laws dominate.  I hope they are wrong.

In the meantime, be true to yourself. I know I will.

The Mystery of Writing

For a while, I haven’t written. I wondered why.  Nothing seemed compelling enough to write about.  OK, actually no ideas were coming at all.

Rilke wrote in Letters to a Young Poet,  “Go into yourself. Search for the reason that bids you write…ask yourself…must I write?”

Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic, writes, “Ideas are a disembodied, energetic life-form…driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest. And the only way an idea can be made manifest in our world is through collaboration with a human partner.”  p. 64  She goes on to say, you can say “no” when an idea comes, but it will move on to someone else.

So I waited, trying to be alert to what might offer itself  to me. One morning, the words started to come.  I understood, at least for me, my writing.  And, I started letting it happen.

WRITING
You write where you are
Not where you are forever,
Just where you are
in this nanosecond.

Words flow through, Spirit, waiting to play.

To give voice to the words
that comes through you.
Traveling fast, as if sent
urgently from a distant place.

The ones that pay a surprise visit
as you’re about to fall asleep; the ones
urging you to write them down, to
hold them to a page so they can’t fly off.

Sometimes you think them
too bold for print, you fear
what others might say.
Still, you write the words.

A understanding, a phrase…
not for forever, just for right now
for this nanosecond
for this poem.

besliter, January, 2017

Why Grieving Often Takes Time

The world is our mirror. Our unresolved issues are reflected back to us through our circumstances, our lives, and in others.  Lucy the cat…my teacher. She was one of our daughter’s two cats we took in until we could find homes. But two cats were one too many. Lucy was the youngest and most easily placed I thought.  But my conflict about letting her go was palpable.  I finally realized the reason:  she was too much like Kelly. So, letting go–well, it has been messy. One home didn’t work out, another now looks promising.
In the meantime, I’ve allowed myself to see again how things are always interconnected.

Lucy

Thrown outside, found
in a tree – rescued.
Abandoned by death
taken in  – rescued.

Still curious, innocent,
Still trying to learn
to be herself,
Explore, taste, hunt

Sleep on bed.
Chase off competitors
Somewhere deep inside
always trying

to convince herself
She’s safe
She’s OK
She’s loved.

Reflecting
“not enough”
I don’t know how to play,
to comfort the deep wounds

not of my making.
Shipped off again
looking for the perfect home
It doesn’t work.

Suddenly knowing
there is no perfect anything.
Just love, just trying,
and the tears fall.

Peace Descending

Again while praying, I asked Mary if I understood. This came:

Mary at the cross
Mary holding the infantPeace.JPG
The circle of life
spiraling into the Wisdom
that we’re all a part of,
becoming conscious of,
resisting with all our might.

Less is more.
A nanosecond
holds the Universe.
Knowing the way through
to just be here
in love.
We can relax.

Love, not squishy
nor weak,
the Fierce Love
of everything
playing it’s role
to awaken us.
from the inside out.

[Sculpture: “Peaceful Form” by Thomas A. Yano]

What do you do with sorrow?

577363_445045265515601_2064592826_nAfter my last post, I realized that I’ve still been waking up with a sadness weighing down on me. Perhaps it’s from bearing witness to the confusion, anger, and fear that fills the news and our consciousness.

Trying to sort it out, I sat down to meditate. I found myself doing something different. I asked Jesus,  “Were You ever sad? I know you were angry, I know you were scared..but sad?”

The answer came: “My Mother was sad.” And, I felt her.

She knew sadness.
How pointless it all can seem.
How powerless we can be to stop it.

“They know not what they do”

The nurturing Divine Mother, who understands her children only too well.

Destroyers of life, beauty,
too busy,
Blinded by things,

Grasping for power,
Fearing loss, of
not being enough.

“They know not what they do”

Let our hearts break open! With nothing left to fear and everything to love, may we rest in the mystery and wholeness of life. Until then, we’ll push away, condemn, claim it’s not us, create artificial cracks in the wholeness of life. Until then–
tree

“We know not what we do”

Loving what we are…

There a spectacular music piece, released in 1985 as a fundraiser for the the relief of famine and disease in Africa and specifically for the famine in Ethiopia. It’s resurfacing again, the message I think is that we are in this together.earth

“We are the world
We are the children
We are The Ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving”

We are the World (Click to hear the original)

So, why do I feel sad when I listen to it?

Love…i want it
warm fuzzy
make me feel good

Loving…what is it?
seeing your beauty
knowing your goodness

Love…being
accepted just as I am
knowing you care

Loving you
with all your worts
with all your gifts

How far can I love?
How great a difference
can my love hold?heartworld

Families don’t always
love each other.
We are the world, but….

Is there time to learn?
God so loved the world,
can we?

The Importance of Distinctions

What’s the difference between trust and faith?  In talking with a friend recently, she referred to faith as the concept she connects with God. It got me thinking about something I’ve told myself for a long time.

Some background: I always thought I had a trust issue with God. I questioned if He’d be there for me, as I knew he was there for everyone else.  Feeling alone as a child, I thought I’d too often prayed to God and didn’t get an answer. It was a story I  knew well.

This morning in meditation however, I realized something different.img_0532

Faith:     1) Complete trust or confidence in someone or something;
2) a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on a spiritual apprehension [understanding] rather than proof. (from Merri-Webster)

I do have faith that there is something bigger than me, a Divine Presence who created the Universe, Who is behind its magnificent unfolding. So often in my life I’ve experienced grace, help that came to me when I needed it, something that seemed a problem working out for the best….    So where does this lack of trust in God come from? What is it about?

Trust: a firm belief in the sincerity, reliability, skill & ability, and credibility of someone (from my Newfield Network training).

My “aha” moment:  A child’s parents are like gods to them. Totally dependent, you accept much of what goes on as the truth about how the world works. Wouldn’t God treat you as your parents did (our Father who art in Heaven?)  It hit me that my trust issue was never with God but with my parents. Growing up, I felt I wasn’t enough….I gained favor through my accomplishments not for who I was (or at least as I interpreted it).

I didn’t trust my parents to love me with all my flaws, with my thinking differently, with my being trust1emotional (seen as weak), nor with having my own way in life. I didn’t trust them to support me the way I wanted/needed to be supported at that time.  And, I confused them with God.

So even as my faith has grown stronger, there’s been this lingering notion of not trusting God to be there for me. This, in spite of all the ongoing evidence.  Today, I know my parents did love me the best they knew how. I learned much from them. But they weren’t gods.

So understanding the distinction between trust and faith has been freeing for me.sky9-512

It’s allowed me to let go of a story I’ve lived with very long time.

Grace in action. smiley