We are creators

COVID19, BLACK LIVES MATTER…my words have left me.

July 13, 2020 by Barbara

I’ve been too overwhelmed with it all to write, thinking it’s already been said, or it doesn’t matter, or that I just don’t have the words. The questions seem to abound.

Re: COVID19- What is really true? What is really known and what is still being understood. What’s politically motivated or self serving? What is freedom? Where do personal freedom and compassion intersect? Isn’t living in fear worse the getting the virus?
Re: Black Lives Matter- Somethings were too painful to watch the first time, do I really want to talk about it again? What can you say that isn’t more dividing? How can you stop generalizing to everyone in a perceived group? Do people really want to understand “racism,” systemic bias, our history?
And what about the creative process? I’ve been asked, “Isn’t focusing on all the violence, discrimination, white superiority etc., just giving more energy to what you don’t want?

So this may be the first of a series as I sort through my answers, letting the feelings flow over me and the thoughts swirl.

I’ve come to realize and value letting myself feel the feelings as opposed to pushing them down. This has been, and is, a major part of moving through this complicated time; breathing through the feelings, not getting lost in them. And being overwhelmed at times seems like it is part of being human….and, I’m realizing, that includes me.

I also know that I can choose to live in heaven or hell right now. When I choose to see the possibilities, the genuine care of many, and when I trust that love is stronger than hate and fear, I live in heaven.

And finally, I believe these times are sacred and we are being given an opportunity to sift through what is happening, work together in ways we may never have before and arrive at a place we haven’t yet imagined.

I hope you’ll stay tuned. I know I will. LOL!

Filed Under: Choice, Fear or Courage, Heart's wisdom, Love, We are creators Tagged With: Black Lives Matter, Chaos, COVID19, fear, Racism

What Matters

June 1, 2020 by Barbara

Black lives, Gay lives, Mexican lives, Native American lives, women’s lives, men’s lives, all of God’s creations MATTER! When will we learn to see!

If you have to be on top it’s because you fear you are on the bottom. If difference scares you, angers you, makes you uncomfortable, you doubt your own life choices/beliefs.

If we assume we deserve what we have, it’s because we think we are separate from each other; that our work is independent of other’s efforts, of God’s grace. We live as victims in fear of poverty, hell, getting it wrong. We try to rise to the top through control, dominance, wealth…

Race is a myth to rationalize the horrors, the economic benefit to those who are deemed white.
The past has been distorted, not taught, diminished.

Yes, it hurts to see. But we must! And then ask, “What now?” What can WE become if we open to our oneness in God, with nature, to each other, with our inherent goodness. What if we are willing to face our own deepest fears? Is this just a soft naive feminine dream?

from Center for Spiritual Living Great Cincinnati

Can I not close my heart to those who kneel, who kneel on, who kneel before? Can I not close my heart to those who think their skin, their religion, their beliefs gives them inherent worth? Can I not turn what scares ME into “the other.”

Can I, can we, be more?

We can’t go back to normal. We can’t…….so, what is mine to do now?

Filed Under: Choice, Creating with others, Oneness, We are creators Tagged With: black lives, race

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

April 26, 2020 by Barbara

[This came to me as a partial answer after asking, “What’s mine to do in this pandemic world we live in; a world with such inequalities, unknowns and isolation?”]

Jesus Didn’t Change Any Thing*

He didn’t topple governments
He didn’t stop people from killing each other
He didn’t close the gap between the elites and poor.

He simply lived the Truth:
We are not separate from the Father
What He could do, we could, if we remembered.

Jesus didn’t change any thing
He was his true Self,
and people changed.

The message in this for me was to remember. To become conscious of what I was creating through my thoughts and feelings. To choose to see the good, to feel compassion, gratitude, appreciation. Right now, that is mine to do.

*excluding the water into wine and the loaves and fishes “things”

Note: I used Father but to me God is Father/Mother/Friend.

Filed Under: Heart's wisdom, Love, We are creators Tagged With: inequalities, pandemic

Distancing

April 16, 2020 by Barbara

Physical distancing,
not social distancing.
People are not threats.
Fear, a tax, depleting
our country.

Written in response to the Chalkboard prompt “Taxes” by Kathy Jacobs. Thank you to all those who make this adventure possible!

Words matter. They create images in our minds. They trigger unconscious fears that then connect to the words/ideas being popularized.

Pay attention to the seeding of this new norm: that social or personal contact with another human being is dangerous; that internet connections are safe, easy and essentially the same.

Using the word “social” distancing is deliberate. It connects being with others to being in danger. It plays on our fears of being vulnerable.

Also deliberate is the promotion of technological solutions to connecting e.g, texting, Instagram, Zoom, GoToMeeting, Google etc. All of these and many more are touted as the new normal. The implication is that this is how you will have relationships the future. To a generation being weaned on their cell phones, this will seem totally natural and obvious. So what is wrong with it?

Relationships are messy. Dealing with feelings unavoidable. Whereas with texting, and in most internet exchanges, you can avoid dealing with them. You can shift gears, disconnect, not answer questions/concerns, scream at without dealing with the consequences.… You can even multitask while you “talk.” You don’t have to learn the interpersonal skills needed to deal with feelings face to face. You don’t have to be vulnerable. Relying on technology for relationships comes with a cost.

We are facing choices about our future. What will we do when “this” is over? I’m voting to maintain messy social connections, and to our developing the conscious heart connections that make us human.

P.S. Technology has its place. But the point I’m making is it’s just “a place.”

Filed Under: Choice, We are creators

Birth day(s)

April 12, 2020 by Barbara

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_4103-768x1024.jpg

Each day the same.
Yet unexpected.
I walk alone,
birthing friendship with Self, grass, birds, trees, smiles, nods…
Alone, the world holds me.

Written in response to the Medium’s Chalkboard prompt: Birthday By Dermott Hayes, April 9, 2020

Filed Under: Life, Oneness, We are creators

Trust in God but Tie Your Camel*

March 14, 2020 by Barbara

Have faith
but see your own
inconsistencies

Strive to be whole hearted
but be willing to see your
own doubt

COVID-19, ground zero
could it be
our teacher?

This poem is my response to the Chalkboard prompt “Ground,” March 11th by D. E. Fulford. What follows are my further thoughts about how we are living this reality.

Note: This piece is about how we think about our power to create. It is not about our interdependency nor our duty to our community. Please don’t confuse this with these issues.

With all the confusing information, the hype and the scares regarding COVID-19, what do you do? You say you believe in the power of your word. Do you just go on as usual knowing you are whole, complete, safe? Or do you consider the possibility that you may still have conflicting beliefs, doubts, cultural and family programing that just may operating in the background?

A friend of mine once met with Mike Dooley, someone who understands the power of our visioning and of our word. When asked if he had health insurance, he said “yes.” My friend looked at him and said, “Oh right. It’s thought insurance.”

I believe that we need to focus on the end result we want, knowing it is done, seeing it fully, imagining having it now. But I also believe you need to see the current reality clearly without judgment. And for many of us that means being willing to do inner work. The inner work of becoming aware of what is happening inside of us: observing our body’s reaction to what is going on, paying attention to our feelings and to the thoughts/beliefs behind our body’s reaction and our feelings.

My experience is that that you have to become conscious of what is driving you before you are able to release it. And, it is only after you release it, that you can truly say “I’m no longer subject to what my [conditioned] mind believes.” (adapted from Michael Beckwith)

During this time, say your formal prayers, do your visioning. But also watch the words that come out of your mouth when talking with friends, and notice the words that roam around in your head. Pay attention to your body, your feelings and get curious about what is behind them.

What are you creating?

*Adapted from Sufi stories. It is also one of the reported sayings of the Islamic prophet Muhammad.

Filed Under: We are creators Tagged With: creating, inner work

It Came

January 26, 2020 by Barbara

I love to write short poems in response to Chalkboard’s weekly prompt. I’m often surprised at what emerges. Sometimes it’s embarrassing, especially when folks assume I’m writing about me. Sometimes though, I’m reminded of a time, an experience…
Here’s my response to their last prompt “thrust.”

IT CAME

The news thrust in my face
No gentle way to say
He’s dying.

1/22/20 prompt Thrust by Nyaalo Mia

Filed Under: We are creators Tagged With: Chalkboard, dying, news, thrust

Choices

December 31, 2019 by Barbara

New Year’s Eve: it’s a time to reflect on the past year and, instead of setting goals, listen for what calls me. Looking back over the years really, I see variations of themes. With the years, I go deeper in understanding and am better in my ability to embodying those things I’ve chosen.

For example, the four fundamental choices I made in the late 80’s working with Robert Fritz’s Creating Course*. I’m still choosing them.

I choose to be the predominant creative force in my life —- God works through me, as me but I must choose to listen and act on the guidance received. Silencing the mind and waiting to hear what’s mine to do, what I’m attracted to, what’s a next step (without the whole plan being laid out) is challenging. But, it is how I’m striving to live.

I choose to be free—-Letting go of all the conditioned responses, beliefs, and ways of perceiving that slip in-between what is and my experiencing what is. This, it seems, takes practice. I have found my feelings are clues as to whether I’m seeing clearly. Too often I’m reacting, my thinking based on my history, past learning, memories, on the rules and regulations of others…. I’m freeing myself to be who I Am.

I choose health—-I watch how food, drink, lack of activity can all rob me of vitality. I’m watching more carefully how stress can encourage me to numb out vs. just sitting with it and knowing feelings will flow, and that situations will change. The Body Temple, a vehicle for the Divine to manifest on earth… Well, ok I’m not quite at the Temple stage but I am loving this body that carries me around.

I choose to be true to myself—-My true Self, not the self that was defined by my “religion”, parents, heritage, genes, personal history, or the culture I live in. Choosing to be true to mySelf is essential if I’m to be the predominant creative force in my life. It may mean being on the fringe of groups. It definitely means not putting something outside of myself over myself. It requires that I trust, trust that I’m enough.

Some thirty years later I see how choices matter. How what has come to me is in response to what I’ve asked for. I’m grateful for my life, the people in it and all that was given me (even the experiences I wouldn’t have chosen). All of it enabling me to be here now.

Happy New Year 2020.

*The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz.

Filed Under: We are creators Tagged With: choices, creating, New Year Resolutions

Naked

November 13, 2019 by Barbara

Sculpture by Debbie flowers — Sculpture by Debbie Flowers

We are heart
pounding beats of life
feeling the ocean in waves

letting go
I am more
available to what is

emerging through me
with my “YES”
to life & love

I am dance
the music plays
It moves through me

Filed Under: Life, Love, We are creators Tagged With: Spirituality