Who Rules?

besliter Sky Series

Who rules your world?
Controls your thoughts?
Tells you what is right?

Fire them!

response to the Medium prompt “Rule” by JK Mansi
Published on Medium’s Chalkboard site 10/17/19

CRAZY

…it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much”…
Does that make me crazy?”
*

besliter Port Charlotte, FL

On overwhelm seems the norm.
Out of control racism, sexism,
“other”isms, climate change…

I ache to know an answer.
My body gets heavy with the
not knowing. I want to pull back.

I ground myself in the dirt,
see what’s growing, listen
to the heartbeat of the earth.

I looked in a waiter’s eyes yesterday.
He seemed startled, he noticed.
Really seeing a person, a start.

*Gnarls Barkley – Crazy

I should know. I’ve taught courses on racism, sexism…how could I still get surprised? “I’m a good person, at least I strive to be.” Yet, like a fish in water that doesn’t see water, I’m in a culture where white is shown as intelligent, good, the norm; shown as the face of Jesus.
Others make the news in the crime section of the paper, serve us in restaurants, work in our yards.

Do we have the courage to look, to see clearly? to get over ourselves? Can we stop putting individuals into buckets of stereotypes? Can we work our own shadow and stop projecting our fear, our anger, our neediness onto others?
All “isms” have a history but we need to stop doing what we are doing today. See inequality as affecting the lives of people, not making them inferior, not making us better.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. “. Maya Angelou

REVOLUTION

Questions drive me
What am I?
What am I not?
What do I know is true?

Moving away from
those who proclaim to know
I’m listening to a different voice.

One deep inside
that whispers next steps
demands my unconditional yes
reveals my deepest heartfelt desires

One demanding
I strip bare, stepping away
from my conditioned self to

Sculpture by Debbie Flowers

seek the truth of where
my ideas have come from.
Examining the unexamined,
trusting myself, risk going it alone.

Our world is too much run by fear
too much by the conditioning of others,
the norms they’ve set, serving their own needs.

It’s time to set ourselves free!

Texting

Sr. Paula Gonzales

Good for data transfer
“I’m here at the back table”
“Running 10 min. late”
“What was the address again”

Or for “I’m thinking of you”
“Good Morning”
“You’re in my prayers”

But not for conversation.
There’s no intimacy,
you can multitask.

If you want to talk
I want your full attention
Your heart not just thoughts

I’m greedy about what
I want from my friends, and
I’m rich because they give it.

Love

What is love?
A feeling of the heart
not between your legs
not “happy head” between your ears

Love just is
a spacious embrace
of the other

You can love everyone
but not want to live with them
not want to hang out with them
not really be able to understand them

Love does not require
understanding, does not
have to make sense

Love baffles the ego
it defies the rules we’ve learned
it goes beyond “tit for tat” and all
sense of who deserves it, who’s enough

Maybe….

Love just is, a Divine gift
embracing us, connecting us
to the Mystery of Life

Life

Native Spirit Oracle Card by Denise Linn

How long do you want to live?
“500 years at least”
“Not into my 90’s”
“Honestly? I’d go right now”

Me? I just want to live today.

Response to Chalkboard poetry prompt: Life
 By Aaska Ejaz

Beliefs

Beliefs about the world,
God and ourselves
Shaping our lives
coloring our perceptions
determining our experience

Some beliefs known
others lying hidden
in cellular memory
to be unraveled
like a Gordian Knot

Slowly cutting the string
they’re brought to light
where in consciousness,
examined, we can decide
Is it true?

I’ve been in touch with the power of our beliefs for some time. Beliefs influence our perception, both what what we see and how we see it. And, as a result, beliefs determine our experience of things.

I’ve known my belief “themes”, for lack of a better word, for some time. Mainly “I’m not good enough” and “I can’t play with the ‘big guys’.” I’ve learned with help to see the consequences of such beliefs, e.g., self-sabotage, self doubt…. But I never felt a real shift.

Recently, in my work with visioning and meditation (translation, a form of prayer and listening to the small voice within), I received the core of what’s been driving me: “I was rejected by family, God, it was a done deal, there’s no use trying.”
Note: My family would be horrified to know what conclusions I came to as a very young girl. I’ve long sense done the work of understanding and forgiving those involved. Still, the belief was operating out of sight in my cellular memory. It’s what unrecognized beliefs do.

So, when this belief came to me and resonated so deeply, I knew it was what’s been driving me. With the consciousness I hold now, I could see it is not true and never was. I feel lighter. It has lost its power over me.

We all have stories. We all have hidden beliefs. I want to testify that we can be free of them. Be free to love more fully ourselves and others. And so it is.

And then there was me

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_1514-e1550407391712-768x1024.jpg

He was my rock
He believed in me
Without him I’m
left with my
self doubt, my
belief I’m less than.

So I act more than
I hang on the fringe
a rule breaker
All to hide that
I’m good,
but not good enough.

I know my limits
so I think.
But now, without shelter,
I’m left with the question
Is there a middle between
more and less?

I’m lost in indecision
self awareness
sucks

Acceptance
one word
a life time

Evolution of Self

Evolution of Self

Projection?
Validation?
Reflection?

We become
through others
ever more deeply
ourselves.

 

Written in response to a Medium Chalkboard Expresso (15 words or less) prompt by Harper Thorpe

December, 2018

Entrapment (Dedicated to Enneagram Fours)


You can go
your whole life
believing you’re different
you don’t belong.

You hold back
just enough to make
it true—

Until one slips
under your
defenses

But he is different.
It wasn’t
intentional.

You see your
reflection in those
around you

the fringe
the damaged
the different

you judge yourself
better, than worse
you’re different
you don’t belong.

Until light starts
seeping in and you
begin to see
the thinking that

Sculpture by Arthur Minton

trapped you,
the feelings that
overwhelmed you.

You get a glimpse
of your own heart’s wisdom,
out of your control,
setting you free.