Mammoth Cave, KY
I’m allowing myself to cave
seeking aloneness
avoiding groups.
Am I sinking into my own
personal nationalism? The
same that I critique countries for?
Build a wall keeping out?
or maybe keeping in
the energy that is so low.
Things are shifting: the change may be
minuscule. maybe seismic, but
definitely different.
I allow myself to not show up
promising, to myself, that this will not last.
Praying that the heavens will show the way out.
Epilogue
I know all things cycle: summer into fall into winter.
But I love spring and have to remind myself that pulling, in as in winter, is exactly what I need to be doing right now….and, it’s ok. To honor what I’m feeling, as the edges of a space seem to be opening up. I don’t know what it means but I don’t have to. It will do what it does.
Grieving has taught me, if nothing else, the process has its own rhythm, its own wisdom. My job, so hard and yet so easy, is to listen.
Yes. Listening is our job. What you call caving feels like what I called cocooning: pull in, pull back, listen, rest, allow, trust. Seems to me like the perfect time to cave. ❤️
I cocoon/cave for hours every day. I like it very much. When I free myself of my story I shouldn’t be doing it, I like it even more! Cozy. Easy. No effort dealing with other people and their stories.
I do this too. It took me a while to give myself permission and not feel guilty. Respecting your own wisdom is a day-to-day learning experience. Sharing the truth that you are discovering is so healing. Thank you for your willingness.
The depressive position is what Karen Horney referred to as the healing place where the paradox can be realized, the place where two totally opposite truths are true/ the cross. I think of it as an internal black hole which shortcuts into the vastness of God and All That Is. I wish more people would have the COURAGE to go there and the FIERCE FEARLESSNESS to stay there long enough to find the PARADOX for which they are searching/finding/revealing/sharing and rising above. This integration of living and dying, loving and letting go is such a key piece to becoming Christlike, One with God and all that is, At-one-ment, Humanity at its best. Duality and Unity as one.
I love caves and have spent many hours inside Mammoth as well as another back home in Russellville. In fact, I spent so much time in the hometown cave that my family sent the police to look for me in there. (The entrance was within a pigpen). They , the police waited until I came out!! BIG SURPRIZE!!!!!!!
I forgot to say how sweet the little snail is and how she is living in her cave and adventuring out of it to climb to higher places, whenever she wants of course.