Mortality haunts me.
At a time I need
to reach out
I’m shrinking.
I pull away from
connecting.
Fear of loss?
Illness seems
to surround me
Another one down.
Loss hangs in the air
reflected in the unsteady
steps of those I
would love.
I need to resurrect
my curiosity, my interest
in the world
But its decay saddens me.
Relationships take time
to nurture and deepen.
I should buck up
move on, instead,
lost in the mundane
I’m disappearing.
You shouldn’t buck up, honey. It’s fine to disappear. You are grieving, and this is your way of doing it.
How I did it? Curled up with my solitude, a lovely snack, and a sweet book or movie. Once a day, I did something to serve someone else, simply because I always felt better when I did that. Then back to my nest.
I wrote the story of my Dear One, just for myself, so I would always remember some of the precious moments.
I remembered that now I am part of the largest club in the world — people who have lost their Dearest One. I’m sorry you had to join our club. You are now more human than ever.
I love you.
Shrink and love yourself in a small precious way. Every cell of your physical body embodies God and All that is, which includes every soul you have ever loved and will ever love. They are in you. You know this. Anyway wallowing in self pity does not accomplish anything at all. You are the perfect emanation of Barbara Sliter and you are the Best You Can Be at any given time. ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS AND THAT IT IS OKAY. Melancholia is contagious and it is counter productive to growth if allowed to persist. Life is perfect and serenity comes when we let ourselves be present and accept that it really is like this. Preach on sister! You told me years ago that the essence of a soul is within its thoughts and its every cell. Have you forgotten what you Know? Love yourself. Love LIFE on purpose. INTEND to Rise UP and FLY. Love me.
You have so many friends who love and support you whatever you do. You know what is best for you at any given moment. Trust yourself. Let yourself be supported by all that is.
Sometimes getting lost in the mundane is just the chrysalis we need … the protection that holds us while we transform. I trust the wisdom of your process … and admire how you honor it.