Creating Works > Life Musings > Emotion > our shadow side

our shadow side

February 9, 2016 by

It’s easier said then done, to really explore our shadow side…those things within us thattree-branch-shadows-on-snow we’d rather not experience or see. But I’m beginning to believe that paying attention to everything that wants to move through us is key. Too many times we’ve been too busy, too vulnerable, too something to fully experience what is happening to us. But emotion not fully experienced goes underground; it drains our vitality, our energy.

A safe way for me to experience is to write. The process allows me to feel the emotion and let it move through. The details of the story aren’t important. But being where I am is. So, I let the words flow.

anger rising

Anger rages
decades old
too many apologies
for my existence.

Pushing it to the side
I run as fast as I can
ahead of the hurt,
the fear, the confusion.

Exhausted I want
to be left alone
No! to be held,
No!… I don’t know.

I want out of the storm.
Bargaining for love
I died  – trying to
get it right.

Now old feelings come
to haunt me
This time they
won’t be ignored.

So, I write…to acknowledge life, to let go, to be true to myself…one poem at a time.

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Comments

  1. Mary says
    February 9, 2016 at 7:08 pm

    Thanks, Barb. This has been on my mind a lot lately, having been surprised by a downward spiral after an unexpected criticism. I’d been looking at attachment issues to understand what had been hooked and realized the criticism, coming from someone I thought was a supporter — who predicted failure of a project, and is part of a group I’d long belonged to– threatened all three areas of attachment –my sense of being loved, of being safe, and of belonging. I realized later I’d spent a whole week denying my emotional pain and projecting it out in other ways (gossiping about how unkind SHE had been), then let it all in (helped by a qigong practice). The grief and anger were big, and I spent a whole night absolutely sleepless, then could feel my positive energy coming back.

  2. Kathleen says
    February 10, 2016 at 11:54 am

    Barbara-
    Thanks for sharing this! So important – a reminder to love that which I want to reject, to run from…..

  3. Paula says
    February 16, 2016 at 11:37 am

    Barbara … elegant and eloquent, as always. You’re so right–how easy it is to turn away from what we’d rather not see or feel. And how fortunate you are to be able to put these experiences into words for the rest of us. Thank you. Paula