We all know that our loved ones are going to die someday. But when it’s suddenly officially confirmed..well, it starts a long journey.
I’m sharing some of my experience as my husband and I deal with our daughter’s stage IV cancer and her recent move into palliative care.
I write for my healing, my release……it’s selfish.
looking for gold
PROSPECTING FOR GOLD
When you’re about to lose
the big things, you start
noticing the small ones.
Gold takes on a different hue
less a shining defined by others
more a soft glowing in the heart.
See the blue sky, hey look at the
ducks chasing each other
outside your window.
A heart splitting is dropping tears
Private moments aren’t
so private anymore.
This isn’t about heaven.
It’s feeling moments
here on earth.
I‘m smiling because a friend called.
That first cup of coffee…so wonderful.
Yellow dandelions everywhere.
Experiencing the inner cacophony —
of grief, joy, frustration, peace,
harsh judgements, soft exhales,
all pierced through with gratitude
for kindnesses shown
for love shared
How long will this last?
months? weeks?
Oh look, a robin.
besliter 4/7/16
It is not selfish, Barbara. Your poetry helps your readers on their own journeys. Thank you.
Oh, Barb, so sorry it’s come to this. I remember Kelly as a young teen, all of life before her. I’m sure she feels the love from you and Joseph. I love your poem, so beautiful and so true. We have only a moment. How special to feel a moment.
My Sister Friend, I am so sorry. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Joseph and Kellie. Your poetry speaks volumes and “No!” it is not selfish to express your journey. I love you very much.
Thank you for sharing your poem, Barbara. It’s how it is, isn’t it.
I’m sorry about this, Barb. You’ve been looking at it for some time now, and suddenly here it is. Your poem is beautiful and moving. Thanks for sharing it.
Helping Kelly through this journey–and its end–is UNselfish. Staying in the moment–prospecting for the gold–is the best way to approach. So sorry!
Dearest Barb, You help all of us with your sensitive, caring writing – not selfish at all. Kelly is blessed that you are in her life – you have a heart of gold. Thank you for sharing. I shall continue to keep Kelly and Joseph and you in my prayers.
Thank you for this poem full of grace. I am holding you, Kelly and Joseph in my heart.
May God Bless you, Barbara, with deep inner peace and much insight as you practice what we have been learning. The three of you are a braided cord which cannot be broken, Kelly, Joseph and you. I was with my Dad for much of the passing part, several weeks. He saw and spoke what he saw. The spiritual world is real. I do not believe there is an end to the journey. There is more. I love you.
Thanks Lee Ann.
Barb, we have to take care of ourselves first in order to help the ones that we love so much. What Lee Ann says is beautiful–the braided cord of you, Kelly, and Joseph will never be broken, and you will all meet up again, as love will draw you together. Sending hugs.
What a tough place to be in as a parent. My heart goes out to you and your husband, Barb. Sending you a huge hug and love, Deb
I have known anyone to reveal such beauty in the face of gut-wrenching tragedy. This is very transforming.