The sadness comes unbidden
Followed by anger flowing
Back into the abyss of sadness
Why is love so hard
My heart wants to split open but
I stop it
Staying caught in the cycle
Trying to stay in control
Will I ever learn?
Letting go, letting the tears come, feeling the losses, letting the world be as crazy as it is…. Keening is what I want to do but I don’t know how.
So, I let myself feel. Being in the moment can be hard sometimes.
I write this and wait…breathing, until it changes.
Much love to you, my friend.
I am much more aware of feeling fragile, Barb. At first it scared me, until I realized it was my ego needing to always be in control. For now, I see fragility “softening” my stance of control, and that feels intuitively to be a way to feel more connected to others & to God. It is hard for me to feel what I feel. You were able to describe the human condition with wisdom & Grace. ♥️
What is keening?
Keep living and loving and maybe keeening, whatever that is.
Keening is screaming a high pitched scream. Common in autistic individuals who lack lang expression. It pierces the ears
I’ve learned to go on and feel what I feel. I wish I could do it sooner so I don’t get stuck in denial. Having a retired spouse has made me need to be more and more present with my own feelings. Space seems to be a precious commodity and silence is almost impossible to obtain. Courage to face conflict is working for me I’ve always avoided conflict. Impossible now!!!
[sigh … ]