Beyond Non-violence

Most people I know are against violence: physical attacks, murder, rape, emotional abuse, the “isms”…. Some are against war, the death penalty, cruelty to animals, destroying the earth….

But the absence of violence leaves a void. So this past month I’ve been sitting with the question, “What am I for (not against)?

I was hampered by my ”shoulds”. I should be an activist. I should be heading up projects. I should be “out there” making a difference.. But the longer I sat with the question, this is what came to me.

What I want to focus on and help create:
Efforts to connect people/kids to nature.
Efforts to connect people to themselves.
Self-expression and creativity in the arts and music.
The ability to see and relate to a person as who they are beyond stereotypes, preconceived notions and biases.

I need to accept who I am vs. who & how I think I should be. Mine to do on this planet will not solve all the injustices and serious problems and I’m learning it can’t and doesn’t have to. We are in this together. One more step on the journey.

So, what do you want to create? What are you for?

Trust in God but Tie Your Camel*

besliter “Llama”

Have faith
but see your own
inconsistencies

Strive to be whole hearted
but be willing to see your
own doubt

COVID-19, ground zero
could it be
our teacher?

This poem is my response to the Chalkboard prompt “Ground,” March 11th by D. E. Fulford. What follows are my further thoughts about how we are living this reality.

Note: This piece is about how we think about our power to create. It is not about our interdependency nor our duty to our community. Please don’t confuse this with these issues.

With all the confusing information, the hype and the scares regarding COVID-19, what do you do? You say you believe in the power of your word. Do you just go on as usual knowing you are whole, complete, safe? Or do you consider the possibility that you may still have conflicting beliefs, doubts, cultural and family programing that just may operating in the background?

A friend of mine once met with Mike Dooley, someone who understands the power of our visioning and of our word. When asked if he had health insurance, he said “yes.” My friend looked at him and said, “Oh right. It’s thought insurance.”

I believe that we need to focus on the end result we want, knowing it is done, seeing it fully, imagining having it now. But I also believe you need to see the current reality clearly without judgment. And for many of us that means being willing to do inner work. The inner work of becoming aware of what is happening inside of us: observing our body’s reaction to what is going on, paying attention to our feelings and to the thoughts/beliefs behind our body’s reaction and our feelings.

My experience is that that you have to become conscious of what is driving you before you are able to release it. And, it is only after you release it, that you can truly say “I’m no longer subject to what my [conditioned] mind believes.” (adapted from Michael Beckwith)

During this time, say your formal prayers, do your visioning. But also watch the words that come out of your mouth when talking with friends, and notice the words that roam around in your head. Pay attention to your body, your feelings and get curious about what is behind them.

What are you creating?

*Adapted from Sufi stories. It is also one of the reported sayings of the Islamic prophet Muhammad.

Choices

New Year’s Eve: it’s a time to reflect on the past year and, instead of setting goals, listen for what calls me. Looking back over the years really, I see variations of themes. With the years, I go deeper in understanding and am better in my ability to embodying those things I’ve chosen.

For example, the four fundamental choices I made in the late 80’s working with Robert Fritz’s Creating Course*. I’m still choosing them.

I choose to be the predominant creative force in my life —- God works through me, as me but I must choose to listen and act on the guidance received. Silencing the mind and waiting to hear what’s mine to do, what I’m attracted to, what’s a next step (without the whole plan being laid out) is challenging. But, it is how I’m striving to live.

I choose to be free—-Letting go of all the conditioned responses, beliefs, and ways of perceiving that slip in-between what is and my experiencing what is. This, it seems, takes practice. I have found my feelings are clues as to whether I’m seeing clearly. Too often I’m reacting, my thinking based on my history, past learning, memories, on the rules and regulations of others…. I’m freeing myself to be who I Am.

I choose health—-I watch how food, drink, lack of activity can all rob me of vitality. I’m watching more carefully how stress can encourage me to numb out vs. just sitting with it and knowing feelings will flow, and that situations will change. The Body Temple, a vehicle for the Divine to manifest on earth… Well, ok I’m not quite at the Temple stage but I am loving this body that carries me around.

I choose to be true to myself—-My true Self, not the self that was defined by my “religion”, parents, heritage, genes, personal history, or the culture I live in. Choosing to be true to mySelf is essential if I’m to be the predominant creative force in my life. It may mean being on the fringe of groups. It definitely means not putting something outside of myself over myself. It requires that I trust, trust that I’m enough.

Some thirty years later I see how choices matter. How what has come to me is in response to what I’ve asked for. I’m grateful for my life, the people in it and all that was given me (even the experiences I wouldn’t have chosen). All of it enabling me to be here now.

Happy New Year 2020.

*The Path of Least Resistance by Robert Fritz.

I almost gave up

I was excited about creating  a new fireplace mantle.

After my epiphany in February, I started calling masons, stone workers, even outside garden designers. I stopped in any place that remotely stained mantle-Version-2looked like they could do stone work.  But I found that no one was interested in tackling this sadly stained fireplace.   I explored fireplace facings, but none were designed to cover the length of the wall as our mantle did. I began to see my hopes of a mantle I really liked fade. I was running out of options.

Finally Tom, a brick works chimney guy, responded to my queries. He was a burly guy sporting a substantial beard and wearing overalls. He seemed a “no frills” but reliable type.  He said, “For two hundred I can replace the middle limestone piece.” I thought, “Well, I haven’t had much luck finding any other approach. It would be cheap and get rid of the stain.” I said, “Put me on the schedule.” He said he would.  Then, I never heard from him again.

Dismayed, there was more searching, calling and asking around.  Gary was a construction-type handyman. He asked me to send him some pictures. Excited, I sent my best iPhone shots. He emailed back and said for $600 he’d replace all three 4.5 ft top sections. “It was a better way to go,” he said, “since new stone wouldn’t necessarily match.”  OK, this would at least get me back to how the mantle originally looked, better than nothing.  “Put me on your schedule.”  I never heard from him again.

By now 6 months had passed and I was discouraged. “It will never get fixed!” I thought as I sullenly stared at the stained mantle. I never liked the mantle. It wasn’t particularly attractive and the top was too narrow to easily put things on. I sighed! Should I just leave it? If we ever sell the house the new owner could tear it out.

It was then I realized I’d drifted from creating a fireplace mantle I’d like, to desperately trying to find someone, anyone,  who could make the stain go away.  I was no longer creating.  My frustration pushed me into reacting against; getting rid of the stain. I refocused. I didn’t know how to make it happen but I wasn’t going to give up on a beautiful mantle. I could feel my energy shift. I was feeling lighter and more adventurous.

Once again I spent time Googling everyone from masons to decorative rock folks. But this time I was open to alternatives. A friend’s brother had just redone his flagstone fireplace and recommended Don Weiss, the guy he used.

I looked up Don’s website. He did creative tile art. His work was beautiful so I called. From the start his energy was different. He really looked at the mantle. He looked at the damage and the whole wall. He recommended a limestone facing.  I was almost disappointed it wasn’t tile but thought, “Well, give this a chance.” He sent me drawings of the pieces he’d need and a price tag of $900.

Looking at the drawings I couldn’t figure out how it would come together. I made a cardboard mock up that looked bulky and stuck out way too far.  I emailed him with my concerns. He came back to the house and explained that there would be a curve in the front piece that would mirror the cove ceiling. He assured me it wouldn’t stick out too far. He had an artistic touch no one else had and I trusted him. We agreed to go ahead.

He fit me into his schedule and arrived with one of his workman. DSC02939 Two days later it was finished. It was beautiful!  Not only did I like it, I loved it!

DSC02942I was reminded again of the power of creating something you want vs. reacting to what you don’t like: the importance of holding your vision even when you don’t know how it’s going to happen; of not giving up!

Creating works!

Life is like cooking

“The only stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking, you have to have a ‘what-the-hell’ attitude.” Julia Child

I’ve been taking a course on flavorings. Yes, a cooking course by the Kitchen Coach Randie Flaig, that was designed to bring our attention to the whole world of flavor. We learned what makes up our perception of flavor, for example, texture, smell, temperature, weight & mass, memories.  She showed us how to add flavor starting with the obvious salt, pepper and spices. She went on, showing us how to enhance flavor with cooking techniques like roasting, searing, and blackening; sauces like reductions and glazes; and special techniques such as repeating ingredients in different forms, for example, lemon zest and lemon juice.

I learned wonderful new words like “Umami” (foods which enrich and round out flavors) and the Maillard Reaction (a chemical reaction from heating certain foods that enhances flavor). But I learned most by watching her.

I watched as she would start with a vegetable or piece of meat or fish and add salt & pepper and maybe a spice. Then she’d taste it and have us taste. “What else does it need?” she’d ask. We’d suggest something which she’d put in, and again, we’d all taste.

Sometimes it would go in the wrong direction and we’d have to figure out what to do. She was clear that great cooking required continued tasting, correcting as you go, and having a “what-the-hell” attitude. Timidity didn’t cut it.

How like life I thought. For it to be interesting you have to experiment. For it to be fulfilling you have to give your heart to it.  And as with all creating, you start with an intention to do or make something. You have to keeping checking where you are and notice when you aren’t where you thought you’d be. You learn to course correct. Sometimes you end up in a different place but one just as good or even better. And sometimes you just have to remember to keep a “what-the-hell” attitude. After all, there’s always another dish to make.