We recently had the inside of our house painted. In the process we decided to take down the chandelier in the kitchen. It was left over from before our kitchen remodel that added an center island/eating counter. The chandelier really had no function any more. It hung where once there was a table. Now it was in the pathway of those who walked through, occasionally bonking folks on the head if they came too close.
We replace it with a recessed light. It looks great. We both love it.
For the next several days my husband kept saying how much he had disliked that old chandelier; how much he was glad to have it gone. After several days it hit me, on some level the chandelier had drained his energy every time he looked at it. He tolerated it but it bothered him. And what’s more, he had no longer noticed that it bothered him. Toleration numbs you out. The contrast when he talk about the new light was stark. He was vibrant.
I asked him where else he might be tolerating something? Areas where he’s pushed aside his desire for something because it was impractical or the wrong time. Areas where he’s “making do.” Often tolerations aren’t big things, e.g., a lighting fixture, but they are slow leaks in terms of our vitality.
What are you tolerating?
Either we love something or not; either we care about something or not. If you don’t love or care about it, why do you have it? Why spend your precious time on it? What are you tolerating? It’s may be time to let go.
tol er ate (Merriam-Webster)
: to allow (something that is bad, unpleasant, etc.) to exist, happen, or be done
: to experience (something harmful or unpleasant) without being harmed
: to put up with