self love

April 1, 2023 by Barbara

I want to be accepted as I am
My sadness, happiness, anger
Should not shame me
How I am, not how you need me
Not your projections, not
Your judgments

But what if I don’t accept myself?
If I don’t feel my body, it’s
Tightness, it’s pain
If I don’t notice my feelings
Or ask what I need—
I don’t exist.

I still battle going numb, not valuing myself, not noticing myself let alone connecting to others.
I fall into care taking, performing, helping others achieve.

Every time I cycle through this, at the end, I breathe. I let myself “be me” a little more. And, I start another new day.

Broken

May 28, 2019 by Barbara

I’m mad that you are not getting it.
Can’t you see the pattern?
Over and over again?
Getting the same results?
Running won’t get you anywhere.
You need to dig deep and find the
courage to face his lies about you.
To trust you aren’t what he tells you,
not even what you tell yourself.
Dad’s winning
I am so angry, so helpless.
Three glasses of wine aren’t helping.
What do I do?
Where’s my center?
It’s my pattern over
and over again.
Hilarious!
We are joined at the hip.

Still There, Still Here

Broken