I’m turning a corner
What does that mean?
I don’t know
What’s next?
I don’t know
What now?
I trust
For the last few months things have been shifting. How? I can’t tell you. Some of it has been inner work as I release, at a deeper level, some of what I took on as a child and throughout my life that does not serve me. Hurts, self-doubt, fear of being seen, not believing I matter….all resurfacing so I can more consciously say, “I forgive myself and others. I let go. I just am.”
I’m learning to live in liminal space, the time between the ‘what was’ and the ‘next’.
I’m practicing becoming self aware vs self obsessed. Noticing the mental chatter, the mind busy planning, reacting, telling my story yet again. I then consciously breath and focus on doing whatever it is I’m doing. What’s my body feeling? Breath. Really see the carrot I’m cutting or the weeds I’m pulling. Breath. Feel whatever emotion arises but don’t start telling a story about it. Breath. And Life continues to unfold in me and around me.
Simply experiencing what is brings peace. I’m beginning to trust. I pay attention to the little surprises and notice how things work out in ways I couldn’t possibly expect (another blog). I continue to practice.
Thank you, Barbara.
Life is weird, isn’t it!
For years now, I have lived each day as if it is my last. I like the worry that leaves when I think of that possibility, the freedom that comes with the possibility that this is my last day.
Your post resonates with me and how my life is unfolding. So much is going on around me, but I am learning to step back and breathe and look and feel. It sounds simple but it takes a commitment to avoid distractions. You matter. We all matter. Sometimes we become our own cheerleaders and that’s growth, for me, at least.
Thank you for this!
Love to see you posting again! You always bring such wisdom, like this!
I love this, Barbara. I call what I am doing along these lines “dogmental” I made it up this week. Staying in the present, breathing, noticing my insides and being with what I feel and think. Doing what makes sense. The churning up of my old stuff is really amped up lately in my dream time and when I am awake. I am learning how to love my Self better and to respect myself better. It is fun really. Thank God for forgiveness which heals the wounds I have kept reinfecting with denial and judgement. Accepting myself as I am is my main work now but it is exciting and fun , too. Going where no woman or man as gone before!