I still feel like I don’t belong
and it always surprises me
I‘m connected to my back yard
It loves me and I love it back
I love people and I don’t know
why or where it comes from
I’m guided in ways I don’t control
The universe has many worlds
I’m not pretending everything is resolved. I am not asking others for solutions to what is unfolding in me. I’m experiencing my life as I am living it. I’m learning this is” getting it right.”
I see my own contradictions, e.g, I should stop drinking…and then I don’t.
So now, I’m noticing what encourages me to have a drink: sometimes it is because I enjoy a glass of wine, sometimes I’m upset and I’m numbing out, and sometimes I’m caught up in the expectations of others. I’m letting go of “how it should be” and I’m becoming more aware of “how it is”. It is no longer about a general rule or a “should”.
I choose to be free, and that means being honest with myself. It is being unapologetically me. It is only from this place of self acceptance and self awareness that I can choose more wisely. This is love.
Beautifully expressed, Barb!
Yes, yes, and yes!
Progress not perfection!
Yay Barbara!!!
And more yeses and yays!
So we are on a similar journey. I have been plagued with self doubt and self loathing most of my life since I completed childhood. Torn between I can’t do enough or do it right and I have to do more to prove I’m ok/ worthy of love. My unique truth is this: I have been taking care of myself all my life. What I have done and chosen not to do have been enough. I am enough. This is my freedom from oppression and conditioning which I have experienced. Acceptance of myself as I am is so liberating. I am enough. I love and feel loved